I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
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