My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
