Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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