I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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