When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
