yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
