Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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