He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
