break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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