i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
