I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Less talking, more tequila
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
