are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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