i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
