you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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