If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
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Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
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Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize