Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize