who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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