just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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