were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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