New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize