I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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