Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
this beer tastes like vomit already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
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