Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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