She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
