As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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