my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
4 words: hood of his car
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize