Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
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