We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
