Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
