guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
that may or may not have been my penis.
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