are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
