There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize