DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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