im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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