32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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