Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
