i just had sex bonerless
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
