1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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