its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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