I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
