Need sex. Gaining weight.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
