I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
