planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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