well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
