did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I met the friendliest cop last night
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
