you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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