The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
