She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
