we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
