This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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