Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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