There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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