some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
porn star boner night. come get it.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
