My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
