I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
