I like my sex mixed with concussions.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I forgot wine drunk hurts
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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