Swine flu. Run for my life!
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
