And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
