Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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