don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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