Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Randomize
