Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
